19 Apr 2010

Olds: The Death of Phoebe Prince

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Phoebe_PrinceThis is something more along the lines of a Sankaku topic but I feel it’s somewhat notable to Hikikomories too in that it brings up the issue of bullying extending towards the internet:

Following her death, many crude comments about her were posted on her Facebook memorial page, most of which were removed. Her parents chose to have Phoebe interred in Ireland.

The rest of the case is somewhat textbook in the way neglect and bullying happens so I don’t have anything to add to it.I just thought it was… food for thought as far as where social withdrawal and internet culture is leading up to.

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16 Apr 2010

Copy-Paste: Nice Girls with Guns

I found this link via IMDB after recently watching Sugar & Spice for the first time.http://www.houstonpress.com/1999-09-16/news/nice-girls-with-guns/

Kids say growing up in Kingwood is like growing up in a bubble, an emerald-green suburban bubble to whose perimeter sticks a residue of brownish urban scum: convenience stores, auto repair shops and the two bars that serve Kingwood’s 58,000 residents, whose average income is $78,000 a year. To the north is Kingwood’s country cousin, Porter, where no shoes, no shirt doesn’t mean no service. To the south, along the back fences of the Kingwood Country Club, runs the long, nearly barren stretch of Hamblen Road, where kids go to have their keggers down by the river. In the story of Kingwood teenagers Katie Dunn, Krystal Maddox, Michelle Morneau and Lisa Warzeka, this perimeter — where the bubble ends and an oil-stained world blessed with neither landscaping nor a master plan begins — is where the action takes place.

[…]two people burst into the store and started yelling. One of them (according to the girls’ confessions, police say, it was Lisa), pointed a pistol in Cindy’s face, handed her a bag and made a harshly worded demand for money. The other (police say it was Katie) held the door open. According to Ruby and Cindy, she too had a gun.

As Cindy fumbled with the cash register, Katie spotted Ruby at the back of the store and warned her not to move.

Ruby felt like she was watching Crime Stoppers on television. Because the intruders were hooded, masked and gloved — “You couldn’t see one spot of skin” — she knew they weren’t planning to shoot anyone. So instead of not moving, she calmly picked up her fountain Pepsi. She could tell that the masked figure at the door, at least, was female. “They gave me the idea that they were new to this,” she says.

Meanwhile Cindy, rattled by the gun aimed squarely, if a little tremulously, at her face, suffered a sudden case of butterfingers. “You have two seconds or I’ll shoot, bitch!” the robber said, in a voice whose Hollywood-holdup toughness seemed to Ruby’s ears rather strained.

“I couldn’t do anything right to please the one in front of me,” Cindy says. “The more I did, the more she threatened to shoot me. The more she threatened to shoot me, the more I messed up.” After missing a couple of times, Cindy finally got the money in the bag. Then she began handing over cartons of cigarettes, but she picked the wrong kind. “Marlboros, bitch!” the triggerwoman screamed. “Marlboros!”

As the two girls, who had both just turned 17, ran out of the store, they dropped a carton of Marlboros at the door. Another carton skittered to the parking-lot asphalt as they hopped into their car, where police believe the other two girls were waiting, and sped off into the night with about $800, the largest take of the five robberies.

What struck Houston Police Detective Billy Stephens as most unique about the five holdups was not that the alleged perpetrators were female. Women rob stores all the time. It was not even so much the middle- to upper-middle-class backgrounds of the girls, the fact that they are thought to have used a 1999 gold metal-flake Pontiac Firebird as their getaway car, or that one was a varsity athlete and one a drill team member at preppy Kingwood High.

It was, instead, that the robberies were so well planned and executed. Had the girls resisted the urge to brag about what they had done, had they stopped themselves from giving away cigarettes at parties in a show of gangster-style largesse, they might have gotten away with it. But in Kingwood, getting away with things gets a little old.

After the initial shock of the girls’ arrests, lots of people, including a school district official and the editor of the Kingwood Observer, called the crime spree “an anomaly.” It is possible that they’re right, that the glare of publicity Kingwood suffers when one of their good kids goes bad is unfair in light of how many stay good. “Kingwood is — I hesitate to use the word ‘perfect,’ ” says Cynthia Calvert, managing editor of the Observer, who is herself a Kingwood High parent. “But it really is a place where moms and dads and their kids go out on the soccer field on Saturdays. There has not been a homicide since I have been here. Not one. We really don’t have a crime problem.”

Kingwood High is a place so white, the brunettes look slightly out of place. It is the type of place where if you make the first cut for the softball team, the coach might give you a locker and instructions to change who your friends are and how you dress before the second cut. When people began to refer to the Fillies, the drill team, as the Whore Corps, members had to sign a code of conduct agreeing, among other things, that they would not kiss their boyfriends in the halls. At football games, the Kingwood Mustangs dash out of a giant inflated football helmet, and the Fillies sit in neat rows on the bleachers and cross their legs on cue, and territorial hoofprints mark the cheerleaders’ skirts over the left buttock, and the parents wear polo shirts that say, “Varsity Dad” or “Kingwood Fillies,” and one gets the sense that it is all as much a matter of status as spirit.

Katie, Lisa, Michelle and Krystal may not have been the kind of stunning beauties that met with instant popularity, like Lisa’s exotic Barbie of a younger sister, Jessica. But except for Krystal, the girls were “very Abercrombie & Fitch,” says a classmate. Parents who knew them use words such as “ladylike” and “well-mannered.” Kids who knew them say they were “really sweet,” “so sweet” or “very sweet,” even though no one could tell the kinds of stories about them that one might tell at a wake or a wedding.

“None of them stood out,” Kingwood graduate Cary Dukes says of the four girls. “None of them were outgoing to the point where everyone knew who they were. They weren’t anything special.”


The least wealthy of the four was Katie Dunn, who lived with her mom and older brother in an apartment across the street from Kingwood High. Her mom is a nurse. Her brother, the man of the house since their dad stayed in Iowa after the divorce, tried to be a father to Katie, or at least look after her at parties. At Kingwood High, extracurriculars can cost as much as tuition at a public college, but Katie’s mom scraped together the more than $1,200 it took for her daughter to be a Filly.

It was Katie’s distinctively raspy voice that a Kingwood High assistant principal identified on the convenience store surveillance tape. She is boisterous, loud, rough around the edges. At school, where she would have been a senior this year if she weren’t in jail, she knew exactly which teachers’ and administrators’ favor to curry in order to skip class with impunity. A lot of schoolmates found her off-putting, particularly her habit of “hanging on” guys, but to her closest pals she was an attentive friend, the type who would make a big deal out of someone’s birthday or microwave a pizza for her friends after school. One friend says his mom saw the preternaturally upbeat Katie as marriage material. She never talked about not having as much money as other girls. When her boyfriend broke up with her this summer, she shrugged it off. Nothing seemed to get her down.


Lots of folks subscribe to the theory that these girls simply fell in with “the wrong crowd.” If that’s the case, which of them was “wrong”? Was Krystal, the youngest of the bunch, the corrupter? There’s little evidence to suggest that anyone outside the group was influencing the girls, and it would have been unusual if there had been. For all their varying opinions about drugs, kids in Kingwood are unanimous about one thing: Peer pressure is not a factor. If you don’t want a drag off the joint, the Kingwood party joke goes, so much the better. More for me.
 

The key to being bad is to look like you’re not. “If you have the Kingwood physique,” says one former Kingwood High student who didn’t, “you’re sort of invincible.”

“This is Kingwood,” is the way Kingwood graduate Cary Dukes explains it. “Everyone’s got two game faces.”


Kingwood is a dealer’s dream. “Every kid there does drugs,” Rusty says, “because there’s nothing else to do.” You can bleed rich kids for more than the going rate, and you’re not likely to get screwed over. In the days before Houston annexed Kingwood and HPD came in, kids didn’t even worry about the cops: “They know Mommy and Daddy are taking care of it.”

“The girls did tell me they were sober at the time of the robberies,” says Stephens. He uses a perfectly straight tone while managing to convey utter disbelief: “That’s pretty brave, to do something like this sober.”

By this time the girls were starting to get in hot water at home. Krystal was supposed to start the second session of summer school on July 5, the morning of the bakery holdup, but she was absent. Eventually poor attendance forced her to drop out.

When Katie had left home that weekend, she did so despite the fact that she was grounded, and she stayed away for three days. That’s why she was grounded yet again when the other three girls hit Jack’s Grocery, next door to the bakery, the following weekend. In all the robberies, their M.O. was basically the same: One held the door, the other the gun, and there was a lot of yelling and cursing. (“Don’t get your panty hose in a wad,” the plainspoken bakery clerk Carolyn Dunn told them when they tried to rush her.)

But at Jack’s, says Chiên Barker, a Vietnamese woman with a good deal more poise than your typical convenience-store clerk, the girls weren’t as harsh. Jack’s, owned by Chiên and her husband, Rick, occupies a soft spot in the hearts of many Kingwood youth, who remember it fondly as the only place that used to sell cigarettes to minors. More than one kid hanging out at Starbucks offered the opinion that holding up Jack’s was some sort of treason, far worse an offense than simple armed robbery. Katie, Lisa and Krystal were regular customers there, and Chiên says she would sometimes inquire after Lisa’s mother, since the two women had been friends for about a decade.

But on the day Chiên found herself with a gun pointed at her face, she had no idea that the petite masked figure wielding it was, allegedly, her friend’s daughter. All Chiên could think about was her young, motherless grandson, and what he would do without her to raise him. It was the first time in nearly 20 years of business that Jack’s had been robbed, and Chiên, who lived through the war in Vietnam, doesn’t want to tell the story. When finally she does so, her voice stays calm while her eyes fill with tears.

“I feel sorry for their mothers,” she says simply.


There was absolutely nothing for teenagers to do in Kingwood. There still isn’t.

As a result, Kingwood is the site of a sort of guerrilla war between kids and cops. Vandalism is so frequent as to seem like a hobby — there were more than 400 incidents reported last year. Kids complain that all the cops do is look for parties to bust. Asked about juvenile crime, Houston police Sergeant G.A. MacAnulty, who works at the Kingwood station, says, “That’s all we deal with out here is juveniles.”

Crime in Kingwood doesn’t make headlines very often, but when it does, it always seems to involve teenagers. This summer a 13-year-old set fire to an elementary school, doing $3 million worth of damage. A week later a 14-year-old set fire to a middle school, which will cost $40,000 to repair. Four teenagers — two boys and two girls — sent a house up in flames. In 1996 six football players and two other teens were charged with beating up one of their peers at an outdoor concert in Town Center. In 1995 nine teenagers were arrested for entering a house and beating the kids inside with baseball bats.

In one of the most sensational Kingwood crimes, 15-year-old Andrew Merritt shot and killed his mother, telling authorities that Satan had spoken to him through the heavy-metal music of Megadeth. The following year, 1994, there was another case that seemed made for Hard Copy: Eight teens aged 14 to 16 videotaped themselves exploding mailboxes, trapping joggers in pits and setting fire to air conditioners. Their misdeeds were plotted, like football plays, on a chalkboard. One of those kids was Katie’s boyfriend this summer.

Throughout all these crimes runs a chilling failure to grasp the notion of consequences. Partying in Kingwood, cheerleader Christina Ousman explains, is a way to say “you have your parents around your little finger.” The more you get away with, the higher your status.

A girl who was a friend of Andy Merritt’s, the guy who killed his mother, says the strangest thing about growing up in Kingwood is that no matter what you did, nothing seemed to come of it. During nights of aimless vagrancy, she and her friends threw Molotov cocktails and set walls on fire. Other kids threw golf balls at policemen to make them give chase. One night the girl and her friends took a track hurdle and hurled it through the window of a school. The next day the broken glass was still there, right where they left it.

When her friends returned to school at the end of a week’s vacation, the glass was fixed. No one said a word about it. You could throw rocks at the bubble, but they’d just bounce back.


The only good thing about Krystal’s sudden adulthood was that her bail would finally be set. Like Michelle, she could go home. Katie and Lisa remain in jail, apparently for financial reasons. When national reporters (who, in the wake of the Littleton, Colorado, high school massacre, are acting as if they’ve discovered the new face of American crime) have requested interviews, Lisa’s father has asked if they can pay, saying he’d like to start a tuition fund for his daughters.

There are those who think the girls have learned their lesson. “I honestly and truly believe,” says one friend, “that if they got out now they would never again be a problem with the law. These girls were not the kind of girls who were involved in stuff like this.”

That begs the question: Should consideration be given to the kind of girls they are? or to the fact that where they’re from, it’s hard to learn what consequences are in the real world? Says Pudifin, without particular malice, “I just hope they get the same as if they were four black males the same age.” That would be one way to burst a bubble.


  • Promise 04/29/2008 7:19:28 AM

    What a pathetic attempt to slander a neighborhood. While Kingwood like many other’s has it’s crime and sadness. Kingwood has and will always be known for it’s close community. I would raise my kids here regardless of the stereo type you try to paste it with. It is rare to go any where and not run into a familiar face. I love knowing that by living here your neighbors from any of the surrounding neighborhoods consider you as much a neighbor as the one they have right next door. The only other community that attemps what Kingwood already has is The Woodlands. I hope any one reading this see it for what it is, a waste of 6 pages on a story not so much about the youth’s in question but as an oppurtunity for a liberal based news paper to slander a wonderfull family community. Jealousy isn’t a good trait to have. I hope that maturity isn’t lost to you and some day you find the safety and comfort that kingwood provides for it’s families.

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8 Apr 2010

Clues on how to Interact with Hikikomories

The theme of this quote is actually somewhat obvious as far as dealing with troubled people but it’s a nice alternative image to consider even though it’s not talking about Hikikomories.10 Bizarre Rites of Passage

deezinger:
[…]I do have to disagree with the view that these rites are “abuse”. Rites of passage are exactly that. An event or experience that the community has accepted as a norm. Nay more than that. Oftentimes they are the yardstick by which future leaders in these small societies are measured.

I’m a resident of a rural area of Arizona. I have spoken with members of the Child Protective Services agencies of my area. Even agencies like these recognize that in some cases the “civilized” norm is not actually valid in all situations.

Case in point, part of the AZ State strictures regarding the provision of adequate and hygienic housing for children precluded dirt floors in a home. Strict adherence to these strictures were REQUIRING that children in traditional Native American housing be removed from their family because of nothing more than the fact that these homes had hard pack floors. No physical or mental abuse, proper clothing, schooling etc. Just the fact that the floor was dirt. As it had been for generations. It took quite a lot time and effort, not to mention the emotional damage to the children and their families from the forced separation before state statutes were modified to allow for Native American tradition.

Although my example does not involve anything as extreme as the rites from this list, it does convey the concept that not ALL situations can be properly governed by a blanket set of laws/rules.

As a citizen of a Western culture I could never condone these actions against children of My society. But I also cannot in good conscience demand that a foreign society go through the horror and awkwardness of culture-shock because I choose to judge their ways through my eyes.

GTT:

@deeeziner (93):

I´d say Amen to that! save for the fear of starting yet another religious argument. In any case, I agree 100% with your comments. You cannot judge (or pretend to outlaw) a society´s traditions unless you are prepared to have them do the same to your own traditions. Who knows which traditions you hold dear wold be absolutely revolting / shocking / incomprehensible to some of these peoples…

Silly example… Kids in the US move out of their parents´ homes when they graduate high school and go off to college. Sounds normal, right? It´s not necessarily that normal (or common) to people in South America. Most college kids here actually live at home with their parents until they graduate… and quite a few remain there until they get married. So which is “normal and civilized”?


deezinger:
[…]I don’t agree with the old imperialistic habit of storming into a foreign country and telling a society that all their traditions and rites are “wrong”.

But I do believe that your example of British interference in the affairs of India is an excellent example of why my point of view has validity.

To storm into a culture and try to inject your values, (especially forcibly) leads to a questioning of that culture’s validity by it’s own members. It leads to an ugly form of undermined confidence in the youth in their own culture’s traditional values.

And in the example of British colonization of India, they subjected the population to their idea of civility, but did not give the people even a modicum of equality to those who invaded. The British did not even try recognize the religion or cultural standards which made sati acceptable to the people who practiced it.

And look what that eventually got the British.

It cannot be denied that India ultimately DID profit from Western culture and it’s influence to their society, but it was only achieved AFTER India gained it’s freedom from British oppression, and took it’s destiny into it’s own hands. And it’s true that the practice of sati has been left behind, to history, but isn’t that also because India chose to embrace the legacy of Western culture and “come into the light” of modern society.

But they also choose to embrace many. many of the rites and practices of their traditional culture. Often still frowned upon by other cultures. Often times still gawked at as unbelievable curiosities, (even here at LV).

My opinion ultimately remains at you cannot judge a community by a universal blanket of acceptable behavior and standards. IMHO if anyone has the right to step in and dictate to a small culture as those highlighted in this list, then it should be the people of the closest “modern” society to each of these tribes. These are the people who would have the greatest understanding of these small culture’s, and the greatest chance of guiding a successful ans smooth integration into the “modern” world for these indigenous peoples.

My example of good intentions gone bad would be the practice of female castration, common throughout African nations. A great many of humanitarian groups and individuals crusaded through the continent to eradicate this “barbarian” practice/rite, that is traditional in both tribal and modernized communities.

This lead to a great deal of inter-family and inter-community conflict. Even the young women that were being “protected” revolted against the campaign. They felt that to be denied this traditional rite made them pariahs, and “unclean”. It made them un-marriageable in their communities. The campaign that was launched to help these young girls/women from being mutilated was rejected by those it was meant to “save”. Even by women who lived a modern life by western standards.

The practice still continues, and since it has started to take an “underground” status, where’s the medical help for the women whose rite went wrong?

So again I stand by my opinion. But that is ultimately what it is, my opinion.


@Wrichik (107): “What would you do if you had the choice of letting a sick tribal child be “treated” by a witch doctor or taking him forcibly to a modern hospital ?”

If I were to be the one holding the power of life or death over the head of a sick tribal child, of course I would chose the proven capabilities of modern medicine. If it were up to me and my hypothetical powers, ALL sick people everywhere would be healed. (Probably not very practical on a global scale, come on, the Earth is only so big with x-amount of resources available.)

No, I’m not gonna “forcibly” take that child. (Your word from the quotation.) I would just have to rely on my enviable powers of persuasion.
Sorry I’m not going to put my life in jeopardy in the outback by trying to KIDNAP a child for my own sense of propriety.

But the question of sick children is not apropos here on this list. Never in this list do we know if these tribes are recipients of humanitarian health efforts. Health care is not the topic of this list. And if it were, what about all the sick children in EVERY modern city’s population. Do we not owe those children the same concern that you want to give to these children of this list?

Don’t try to paint me as an uncaring individual, I’m far from it. And I do believe that my caring nature is why I am speaking up for the validity of these rites to the people who practice them.

Don’t try to make me come off as some sort of person (freak?) who condones or welcomes these activities listed, as proper and acceptable in modern communites.
I DO NOT support or condone child abuse, or sexual exploitation/violence in any way.

But I also believe that in the context shown in this list, these may not be the most accurate terms to define the activities of these rites.

I also believe that to have these rites opened up on a tourist basis to the outside world is a reprehensible practice and says more about those who would buy a ticket than those who sell it.

One last point. What about the sociologists who have studied these tribes and brought their practices into the limelight of society? Why have no commenters of this list brought them up to bear for leaving these people to continue their rites after they have had their chance to study and publish their findings for the sake of “science” and enlightenment?

And what are YOU doing to help bring these people “up to snuff” now that YOU know of their existence and horrible doings?

  Wrichik:

@deeeziner (109):

Two posts. 21 paragraphs. 1029 words.

… and I still don’t get your point.

“Sati” was obviously difficult to eradicate because of the immense protests that the British govt faced from contemporary Indian society. Obviously the women who could escape their fate of being cremated alive found it extremely hard to find social acceptance; this goes to show the widespread acceptance of the practice as normal and does not, in any way, amount to a point in favor of “Sati”. Did the British invaders respect the Indian way of life ? No, they didn’t. However, that does not make all of the steps they took incorrect.

Think about it. Did the British rulers outlaw idol worship which was and still is a very prominent feature of Indian culture but completely in conflict with Western mores ? Did they outlaw the study of Sanskrit, Arabic or Persian ? Did they force the Hindu population to take up beef consumption and the Muslim population to take up pork consumption ?

They didn’t. They did all they could to preach their definitions of right and wrong, tried every underhanded trick to deprecate India’s cultural values and treated Indians reluctant to suck up to them as worms; and I condemn all of that as much as you do. When it comes to “Sati” though, I find what they did a welcome change in Hindu society. Muslim emperors in the past had tried to do the same, were met with resistance, and ultimately failed to eradicate it, but the Brits succeeded and I laud them for it.

Female Genital Mutilation is another valid point that you mention. The attempts at banning it have resulted in various adverse consequences. In some places the practice has taken on a new importance as a feature of cultural identity in face of external forces to diminish it. In others it has only forced the practice underground where it is even riskier. While this highlights the importance of the method to be adopted in eliminating such practices, it does not detract from the fact that these practices ’should’ be eliminated. Local initiatives, which do not outright insult prevalent cultural norms and do not give rise to vehement xenophobia are certainly important. Even in the case of Sati, Indian social reformers like Raja Rammohan Roy stood up against the practice and this helped the movement to a good extent.

Two observations I would like to make here are the following.

1) A practice which seems barbaric to an external society and normal to the practicing society will very often be perfectly acceptable and even desirable to the victims themselves. The victims’ volition does not make the practice any more acceptable than a child’s permission to being subjected to acts whose consequences he/she does not understand makes statutory rape okay. A lot of teenagers find drug use enjoyable and might find it hard to refuse out of peer pressure, but that does not make it any less important for responsible adults to compel them to quit and go into rehab if necessary, by all means possible.

2) Sometimes you have the choice of solving a problem nice and slow … strategizing, making policies, consulting people, expressing reverence for native customs etc …

At other times, you have to take decisions on the spot, without the luxury of armchair meditations, and take risks for a greater good. This is what brings us to my and your second posts resp.

@deeeziner (110):

Let me begin by clearing this confusion up. I am not trying to paint you as an uncaring individual or a freak. I’m only raising these questions in order to make my point that respect for another group’s traditions is extremely significant, but there are cases where this respect translates to tolerance of certain things which, in my opinion, should not be tolerated. So, do not take my points personally … once we’re done discussing this, we can go out for coffee, if that’s okay with you :)

Now, back to the discussion.

You mention how you would heal the world if it were possible but it isn’t, how the scenario is not relevant to the list, how the practices enlisted are not what they seem to you and me in the context of their cultures and how sociologists should be lynched in your opinion of my opinion.

First up, I wasn’t asking you a Miss Universe question, I was giving you a choice that is faced on a much larger scale by governments of several nations. I completely agree with you that tactless force can further worsen the situation, so the process of providing modern medical facilities to sick people who might not be aware of their existence or effectiveness should be approached with care and respect. However, faced with the precise choice that I outlined in my previous post, I would prescribe and practice force. Would that always be possible considering that I might end up dead trying to retrieve a sick child ? No … not always. Would that lead to further complications ? Likely yes. But whenever possible, I’ll do my best to save a life now and worry about ostracization later.

As for sociologists, I don’t think they wield enough power to bring about the changes that I’ve been supporting and you’ve been questioning. They are society’s eyes and ears along with photographers and journalists. If any of them had a good chance to prevent, say, a ritual murder and didn’t do it out of scholarly interests, then I condemn his action too.

As for children in cities, I do think that they should be treated too … where did I indicate otherwise ?

I totally agree with you about the people who come to watch the jumpers in Vanuatu being more depraved than the ones who try to make a profit out of it. That is also the feeling that I reserve for spectators in bullfights in Spain, just in case you felt I was biased in favor of European/Western cultures.

What have “I” done for these people, now that “I” am aware of their horrible doings ? Why, I have shared my opinions on this most esteemed website with complete strangers and proceeded to purchase front-row tickets to watch the next round of Harmar cow jumping with castrated females from sub-Saharan Africa, while wearing a baby seal waistcoat and eating illegally hunted shark fins.

I have not had an opportunity to make a difference, but that should not restrict my right to express my thoughts freely. I acknowledge the presence of vast grey areas in the landscape of what is right and wrong but I have pointed out some things that I do not see as grey.

deezinger:

@Wrichik (112):
@Wrichik (113):

I believe our discussion can be honed to one response, so here goes.

To your observances about Indian culture and the eradication of sati, I agree with what you have expressed, although I will clarify for myself that I laud the Indians. Primarily for the fact that they have chosen to lay the practice of sati by the wayside, when they could have easily reinstated it’s importance to their society upon their gain of freedom.

Since it was the British that made India aware of their potential participation in the scheme of world-wide trade, politics and cultural exchange, and the standards of living and moral and ethical values involved in such an exchange, then the Brits should receive their due as well.

Taking us to the observations you have made:

1.) Peer pressure and isolated acts of abuse do not equal community collective consciousness and tribal ritual initiation. These activities/rites are not engaged in for the purpose of personal gratification on behalf of the elders presiding. Death of the participants is in NO way the desired outcome of these rites. Quite the opposite. The survival of the teens in question is foremost in the minds of the elders. For how else can these newly matured kids be of service to their families and their community.

Not to mention that these are the beloved children of the elders performing the rites. NO ONE on Earth could love these children more than their parents and close neighbors.

And if you accept those two above mentioned concepts, then…

2.) Yes. The task of “educating” and “modernizing” SHOULD be well planned and incorporated. Should be slow and methodical. Of course, this would mean assimilating these communities into “our” society. Thus changing permanently or possibly making these tribes EXTINCT. (Obviously none of the tribes mentioned in this list are in the position of ever becoming an “India”. i.e. The difference between a tribe and a nation.)

But I don’t see circumstances, except in the extreme, (as in natural disaster, control of epidemic infection, or being in the direct path of modern warfare), for big brother to have to initiate an abrupt and shocking change to the ideology of these people.

I have read and re-read your comments #112, and for the most part it seems that you and I are actually on the same page.

For the sake of our discussion I would like to point out that my original comments were aimed at those whose initial response here was “That’s barbaric and unacceptable and should be outlawed immediately if not sooner!” (Not verbatim, but the general gist of the combined comments.)

I had tried to make a short comment, (look where we are now…rolls eyes. :) ) to point out to those commeters, that distasteful as we may find these practices from the confines of our computer enhanced world, these tribes deserve a subtle approach from us “moderns” to change their ways.

As for your post 113, I apologize if I made you out to be an “armchair activist”. Even if that were an accurate description of you, I would have to describe myself likewise.

But I laughed at your “Miss Universe question” reference. Obviously you haven’t seen a current picture of me. :) It was a bit egotistical of me to have assumed you were posing the question to me on a personal level. (One of the drawbacks of an online discussion.)

So again, I see us on the same page regarding your last posting.

Enough so, that I extend this invitation…If I should ever be in your neighborhood, you choose the coffeehouse and I’ll pick-up the bill. By the way I also like pie with my coffee. :)

I hope the fact that this is a bad analogy doesn’t dull the similarity between what these people talked about and what’s missing with how some people approach Hikikomories.The thing is, unless there are signs of physical abuse, a Hikikomori once committing a crime has no valid moral comeback to represent his actions anymore and at the same time, a Hikikomori who hasn’t committed a crime can’t really justify that they are in the right by warning someone that they will try to hurt them if said people tried to forcefully invade their identity. (nor will warnings often be heeded otherwise people wouldn’t have invaded the Hikikomori’s room)

While it’s true that unlike the conversation above, Hikikomories are seen as a negative act precisely because they’re anti-dominant culture rather than a part of it but it is also somewhat true that for some Hikikomories, once they become one, the lifestyle becomes their dominant culture. In fact part of the reason why some of them can succeed at shocking people they live with by suddenly becoming a Hikikomori is because the people they live with are the ones who actually don’t pay attention to them and they miss the signs until suddenly it’s in their face.

That’s why pre-Hikikomori people can suddenly turn the Hikikomori lifestyle to their dominant lifestyle: they used their current environment to make them smoothly “assimilate” their identity to their current culture until “they exist as Hikikomories”. Unfortunately some people, particularly humiliated parents who live with them, interpret it the opposite way. They think it’s a fad or a sudden action and like many things sometimes they either try to fix things “their” cultural way and it endangers them if not flat-out causes the Hikikomori to murder them.

This doesn’t justify the Hikikomori’s actions from a “social moral compass” perspective but it hopefully sheds some clues as to how the fight and flight mechanics of Hikikomories works. (at least for some of us although I haven’t experienced this situation nor am I a Hikikomori who has done a crime while I was a Hikikomori) It’s actually very in-line with the philosophy behind liberty particularly the harm principle. A Hikikomori sometimes turn Hikikomori not only as a flight response but as a “fair” response: That is even though from some outsider’s perspective they are asking to be fed and wanting the right to be lazy and hold back people who live with them, in their mind, they are doing the one thing that allows them to live their life without imposing who they are to others and imposing only themselves to themselves. (Of course this particular issue avoids mental disappointments they cause to others but this is among the disputed areas for liberty too.)

That’s why this “sacrificial” mindset gets changed to fight when another person tries to impose their will on the Hikikomori. Particularly in the subject of getting them out of their rooms. This doesn’t mean Hikikomories are unable to resist hurting someone but it is a predictable reaction they may have because it is indeed true that the invader didn’t handle their approach well.

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5 Apr 2010

Comparing Yourself to Others: A Reply

The document is basically a black text/white background version of this. I’d upload that copy to Posterous but my color choices made my head ache.

This is just a rant that got too long to post directly and there’s really nothing else here. It is what it is.

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17 Sep 2009

Are Western ‘nerds’ and ‘geeks’ deserving of the label of ‘hikikomori’ and being consigned to rehab centers like they are in Japan?

No.

I think the real issue is that in hierarchy conscious Japan, with each thing having and knowing its “place”, that the minute a new phenom appears and there is no previous history or tradition in Japan of dealing with it, there is a panic, if you will, to categorize and label it; to make it safe and understandable to society. This categorization occurs even if this flattens the phenomenon down into an overly simplified two-dimensional label that does not completely take all aspects into account nor is an inaccurate descriptor of what is happening.

No one feels threatened by the phenom anymore because they can label it and dismiss it from their own personal lives; they can keep it at arms length. Not to mention they no longer need to consider what caused it to appear in the first place. By not taking cause into account and treating from that base, there appears to be a ‘build-up’ as a social issue gets really out of control. It is at this point, when things reach critical mass, that Japanese society takes corrective measures. This can be seen with numerous school-related problems such as school-refusal, violence against teachers, suicide, and so on.

I feel that naming and labeling in Japan is much much more dangerous and comprehensive once it enters the public discourse as conformity and group-ism is valued.

Labeling is like a net or heavy blanket put on top of a smoking pile of leaves. The fire may or may not be out, be we will never know as a big heavy blanket is safe and unthreatening to look at. You never again see the phenomenon that is underneath, unless of course the fire underneath gets so intense that it sets the blanket alight; but then it is far too late.

Labeling is a way for society to exercise power upon something currently outside its ken. It creates a two dimensional symbol of the phenomenon in the discourse of the mass consciousness; it’s a short hand if you will, that is not really an accurate picture and perhaps even a pale shadow of reality cast by the fire in Plato’s Cave.

Source: http://towakudai.blogs.com/my_weblog/2004/11/are_western_ner.html

Basically I’m sharing this for the same reason I shared this post.

I wouldn’t even be surprised if many prefer this version over all of my writings.

Let’s face it: This is simple and direct.

Sure, I hate this style because it’s “stock”.

It’s so deprived of emotions… so safe from major criticisms… so lacking in substance that these kinds of writing can often evict an act of *nod *nod or *shakes head* and nothing of substance ends up getting discussed by the group who needs to talk about it most. (us)

(Let’s not forget that while the analogy of the smoking pile of leaves sounds good, it can really be applied to anything outside of Hikikomoris)

Nevertheless, it is what it is: An opinion that matches with my own but explains it in a succinct manner that, if I wasn’t a Hikikomori, I wouldn’t have much disagreement with it.

Unfortunately I am (or I consider myself one) therefore I just can’t let my criticism go because we can’t afford just agreeing or disagreeing on this issue. We REALLY need to address and discuss it.

Unfortunately, I don’t even know how to begin communicating why this issue is a serious one — so you might as well consider my criticism as just “hot air”. (I wouldn’t even be surprised if someone accused me of just being jealous of this person’s writing style.)

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