9 Apr 2010

Copy-Paste & Minor Edit: My Mask

*Like it says in the title, I made some minor edits because I felt the typos ruined the flow. I also omitted the last line just because I thought it gave it more impact. If that bothers you, I recommended heading straight to the source and not bothering with the text below.

Source: http://www.experienceproject.com/uw.php?e=967806&ws=t
I have always worn the same mask.

The happy, nothing has ever gone wrong in my life look. Like my life is perfect.

Some days I don’t even know who I am. Every morning I go through the same motions.

I get up and take a shower, eat and off to school. Most days I don’t really notice what’s going on around me.

I hide in my shell and cry on the inside. I get so sick of not feeling free to express myself.

My life has been this giant mass of tragedy.

And after all that I have to protect myself.

I act tough and secure with who I am.

Untouchable in a sense but inside I’m weak and abused and very much a victim of my own guilt.

The guilt of losing my mom and dad.

The guilt of not saying anything about my brother sooner. I might have saved her if I had.

I want to be me.

I don’t want to suppress my talents any more.

I want to take off the mask and show the world what I can do and maybe help fix the growing problem of child abuse.

This ends with me.

Every child deserves to feel safe in their own home.

Something I never felt.

I already started the changes.

I left home at the age of 16.

I now work for a suicide help line.

And I’m going to find my Aunt and uncle and tell them that if it wasn’t for their only child who they would never abuse, they would be in prison and they will be after the little one moves out.

Posted via email from A Hikikomori StopGap | Comment »

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