11 Oct 2009
Copy-Paste: Ways to Spot Talking Brick Walls
P.S. My drafts aren’t going so well and since it’s been a while since I posted anything, this is just another filler to occupy this blog for awhile.
Note that I’m not going to copy-paste the whole article so click the source here if you want the full article.
Futility:
“You make a statement and it will be turned around.”
Example:
“You forgot my birthday.”
(cries) “You are right. I should have put all this pain aside and focused on your birthday! …sorry.”
Tip:
Even as you are hearing the words you get the creeped out sensation that they really do NOT mean they are sorry at all - but since they’ve said the words you’re pretty much left with nothing more to say. Either that or you suddenly find yourself babysitting their angst!! Under all circumstances if you feel this angle is being played - don’t capitulate! Do not care take - do not accept an apology that feels like bullshit. If it feels like bullshit - it probably is. Rule number one - if dealing with an emotional blackmailer TRUST your gut. TRUST your senses. Once an emotional manipulator finds a successful maneuver - it’s added to their hit list and you’ll be fed a steady diet of this shit.
Note: Source example felt too long winded to be realistic so I removed some parts.
“If you ask them to do something they will almost always agree - that is IF they didn’t volunteer to do it first.”
Tip:
If an emotional manipulator said YES - make them accountable for it. Do NOT buy into the sighs and subtleties - if they don’t want to do it - make them tell you it up front - or just put on the walk-man headphones and run a bath and leave them to their theater.
Note: Anyone who has interacted with online trolls know that it’s generally a bad idea to try confronting a manipulator up front (unless you have most of the cards on your side) so I do feel that this is bad advise but it is what’s written in the article.
I’m sure some of you might point out that this isn’t directed at trolls and I don’t want to prolong this article since it is just a placeholder that doesn’t require any of my opinion to stand by itself so I’m going to stop at “I feel this is bad advise”.
Putting words in people’s mouths:
#1
”If you find yourself in a relationship where you figure you should start keeping a log of what’s been said because you are beginning to question your own sanity —You are experiencing emotional manipulation.”
#2
“They can lie so smoothly that you can sit looking at black and they’ll call it white - and argue so persuasively that you begin to doubt your very senses.”
#3
“Over a period of time this is so insidious and eroding it can literally alter your sense of reality.”
Tip:
Keep a log of the words that have been said.
Note: …but don’t turn into this
Guilt Licker:
“Most of us are pretty conditioned to do whatever is necessary to reduce our feelings of guilt.” - An emotional manipulator is a great victim.
“They inspire a profound sense of needing to support, care for and nurture. Emotional Manipulators seldom fight their own fights or do their own dirty work. The crazy thing is that when you do it for them (which they will never ask directly for), they may just turn around and say they certainly didn’t want or expect you to do anything!”
Tip:
Try to make a point of not fighting other people’s battles, or doing their dirty work for them.
It’s All My Fault. T_T Me! Me! Me! Always Me!!!:
“If you call them on this behavior they will likely become deeply wounded or very petulant and call you selfish - or claim that it is you who are always in the spotlight. The thing is that even tho you know this is not the case you are left with the impossible task of proving it. Don’t bother - TRUST your gut and walk away!”
It’s ALL YOUR Fault!:
The scam of hook-you-in-and-make-you-sorry-for-me: Initially you may perceive this type of person as very sensitive, emotionally open and maybe a little vulnerable. Believe me when I say that an emotional manipulator is about as vulnerable as a rabid pit bull, and there will always be a problem or a crisis to overcome.
The End
